New Blog

I have been thinking about blogging again, if I do continue it will no longer be on this blog it will be on
Chipmanstaketwo.blogspot.com

Snow much fun

We finally took some time to enjoy the snow this past Saturday and even though I was fully ready to sit it all out I found I really enjoyed myself. So here are some pictures from our snow day.

The boys made a Pirate snowman with Nana.

 They loved making snow angels and were so cute about it all.

PJ showing me how it is done.

 PJs parents have a small hill in there backyard maybe 3 or 4 feet high so he brought out his old snowboard and decided it was time for me to learn.

 I panicked a little and luckily the fence caught me.

 and then I was off.`

 I went probably about 12 feet without falling!!!!!

 Then the boys decided to use the snowboard as a sled.

 and went straight through my legs as I was taking a picture.

 Braden loves the idea of snowboarding so much that we are thinking next season we will get him in lessons.

and anything Braden does Jimmy does too.

I had so much fun hanging out with family and maybe next season I will actually try a big hill.

Happy 8 months

We stopped by your grave today to say Hi. 

Your pinwheel was the only one spinning. 

Thanks for saying Hi back!

I'm still a rockstar.

So I was driving to my brothers house yesterday after dropping PJ off at school,

and the song "So What" by Pink came on.

I looked in the rear view mirror and saw Braden start dancing.

So I began dancing (as much as one can when driving) and I was totally rocking it.

Singing, dancing the whole she-bang.

We were at a red light and I didn't realize how into it I was getting until I looked over at the car next to me...

The guy was just staring at me like I had lost it. Of course my face goes bright red because I completely forgot I was in my car. 

So I went back to the real world and tried to concentrate on driving again without looking at the guy in the truck, but I had to look to see if he was still there and he gave me a nice smile and a wave.

So I thought about this the rest of the way to my brothers house and it hit me.

I just enjoyed the moment. 

Really enjoyed it and let myself have fun and be me again. 

This my friends is progress.

5 months without you

I Miss You little dude!

"Grief comes in and out like waves from the ocean. Sometimes when you least expect it, a huge wave comes along and pulls your feet right out from under you." ~Alan Wolfelt ʚϊɞ

Party Time!!!

This weekend was the weekend for birthday parties.

On Friday we went to Logans 5th birthday party at Jungle Jims Playland.

The boys had a blast as did us Moms who got to ride the rides too.

However there was a little sadness on my part as my boys let me know they could everything on their own. And I had to sit back and let them.



Jimmy on the roller coaster.




Braden on the rollercoaster



Braden and the Birthday boy Logan

On Saturday we went to Chuck E Cheeses for Kyli's 5th birthday. It was hectic but so much fun.

My boys loved the air hockey

Kyli, Hannah and Braden in the monster truck.

James and Cam in the monster truck

The Posse on the Merry go Round.

Stronger!?

I have been having a bit of a hard time lately thinking about how people always

tell me it gets better and that the hurting eases.

I was having a hard time believing this because it is almost 5 months later and it hurts more now then it did 2 months ago.(Yes I know I need to give it more time)

Well the other day I was told a great analogy  that I would like to share.

I have changed some words to make it fit my situation.

The day Carter died it was like a back pack was placed on my back. 

One that I can never take off. Then big rocks(grief) were placed into my backpack. 

From the start having all these rocks has made it hard to get everyday chores done. 

It can take all my strength to get out of bed and carry my bag full of rocks around. 

Throughout time these rocks will NOT be taken out of my bag 

however as time goes by I will get stronger and carrying the rocks will not be as hard.

For me thinking of it this way has helped. 

I can't gain the strengthI need in one day to carry this it could take years.

But I can take each day and work towards becoming stronger. 

Wish me luck!